My lesson in manifesting a home.
I’m writing this entry just 24 hours after learning my spiritual guide of the last five years is dying. My emotions are free flowing and range from extreme heartbreak, to anger and looming loneliness. Why would she be taken from me as we chase my biggest vision to date? A lakeside retreat designed to help individuals get themselves ready to pursue their dreams.
As I woke this morning a heavy sadness had set in. The dreams I’ve dared to pursue with Frances as a guide now feel out of reach. The lakeside retreat designed to use my healing gifts in a home like setting, the family and friends I’ve dreamed of living together there, Fran by my side in her retirement - my heartbreak is bubbling to a new level.
Fran told me in 2022, “Laura, you must learn to manifest and I will show you by example. You need a home of your own. A retreat to refresh your energy and go back out to lead the projects and people you’re responsible for.” It sounded nice, but I didn’t see it possible at the time. I was feeling financially stuck living in a less than peaceful high-rise condo in the West Loop of Chicago. My debt was growing while my businesses were collapsing in the wake of COVID.
During 2020 my office looked like this.
This wasn’t an ideal situation especially when my work was intuitive and energy dependent, but I thought I was tough and believed it wouldn’t last forever. I had no idea my spiritual access was restricted by my environment.
In a matter of weeks an opportunity opened. I lacked vision and trust in the process. My dear friend and business partner, Calvin Gin understood first hand the lesson I needed to learn. Frances was trying to prepare me for a time when she would no longer physically be with me.
I spent all of five minutes touring the May St. building Calvin found. Fran was certain that a “spiritual retreat in the city” was needed to begin to unlock my healing gifts. In those moments fear took over. I could only see what was, not what it could be and I had no choice but to trust my guides to lead. The building was over run with cats and the yard with rats. I felt myself growing sick.
In 10 days this transformation took place.
As an end to the project Calvin took these photographs. I have yet in my life felt at peace like I do in the space we created. Pictured is my home and spiritual retreat in the city.
My meditation room is the most special. My early mornings begin here, deep in thought, prayer and writing. For me it’s a sacred place. I work through struggles and heartaches here. I’ve been able to connect to God more deeply by creating a specific space to do so. Here I’ve found access to peace during life’s storms and joy in each small victory - both mine and for those I love.
I was touched that my dear friend Luis Guzman would ask to paint Calvin’s photograph. I understand we are all faced with taking steps that scare us and living up to the aspirations we set.
As I’m writing these words my heart is filled with love for Frances who stopped her world to make mine turn again. She taught me what I would need to know to manifest the lakeside retreat. After this whirlwind experience I would imagine there’s more to manifest. I feel less afraid of the future. I feel less alone remembering the spiritual world is a vibrant place. Now I know my guides may appear different than I expected. Of course, I would love Fran by my side as the future unfolds, but I’m grateful in the same breath.
I am also grateful to my friends, Calvin and Luis, for this beautiful gift - a reminder of Fran’s legacy of inviting me into a world unknown. Because of the home you envisioned (Fran, Maria and Calvin) I feel I can rise to the next aspirations we have set. I love all of you forever.
